I have just had the most complicated week. -one of immense confusion
My life has definitely redirected itself these past -long- weeks. I would have said -actually i did say- in the beginning if I could find a one way ticket out of this situation I would book it without thought, but I chose to stay, suffer, find peace and grow all while laughing and cryingcryingcrying. -what a release
Now, as I am walking back through the rubble of this train wreck I am finding survivors. Feeling the security that my path hasn't dead-ended but OH NO, it has lengthened and I am soaking in the fragrance of new beginnings. -what a sweet smell-
New beginnings is a delighting phrase but with that comes the lurking beast with only one motive - kill.steal.destroy.
God cannot do anything without Satan trying to match Him with disaster in my life. I found myself dressed in my flesh so many days eating filth disguised as desserts. It all felt pretty unpredictable. One day this decision to move forward and step into that new beginning, then the next hour completely defeated and left feeling like any situation at that point was impossible.
Hope could not of happened without these voices speaking into my life. God using so many ways to convey to me hope and an everlasting love that I have only played in at times. Now was the time to learn how to fully embrace that love.
Once that encouragement touched my vessels it spread like wild fires to my spirit. I was no longer walking my dark cloud around but i had left it behind to nurture a little sprout that will turn into a sunflower bigger than my head. :)
What a job and a job it has been. My path might be narrow right now but it is stretching far ahead. This is how I know I am not over, "this too shall pass".
